Monday, October 18, 2004

Open during remodeling

Just want to capture a bit of yesterday and today...

My chiropractor is a "wellness chiropractor." I see her even though I'm not currently wishing for pain meds for my back. The idea is that together we can avoid getting to that stage. I can testify that by spending the time to integrate the shocks and surprises that happen just in the course of regular life, I avoid getting to the point where I can't move.

Yoga helps, too: I'm pretty tuned to my body/mind/spirit.

I'm an integrated, flexible being. Here's what happened yesterday: I realized that part of my struggle is that I don't open the door to my heart, wide enough to let other people in. It's dam' scary! The might hurt me! And this closed space, this idea, has created a contraction which actually pulls my right shoulder down, the left side of my neck in, and makes my right ribcage smaller than the left. You can see it. I've had it for years, and wondered why and what I could do about it.

At Mass, I suddenly got a clear picture of the connectedness of the issues of my heart, my fears, and the manifestaion in my body. I chose that my heart would be open on that side. I could feel a sense like a buzz, or like a sleeve being slipped off, and I could feel my right shoulder expand.

Today, there's been lots of crackin' and poppin' as my breastbone aligns to the new volume. My heart is more loving, and I have a greater capacity for patience and gentleness.

My right ear is cooler and soothed, my teeth fit better, my right elbow is functioning fluidly... it's all really, really wonderful.

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