Thursday, February 03, 2005

Finding the right flow

I went to the Conga Lounge at Happy Hour to visit with folks from the Sustainable Business Allliance. I couldn't break in to their group. I did have a nice chat with someone else who couldn't break in, either, Tim Duffy of the California Coastal Conservancy. Nice guy. Friendly, upbeat, personable.

He was really tweaked that this table full of women wouldn't give us the time of day. He had a point: he'd gone out of his way to get there, he'd been hoping to make a connection and find some like-minded people regarding conservation and sustainablity, and he was coming up dry. We even introduced ourselves and turned our stools so we could be part of the group, but they really did close ranks and wall us out.

I suppose I've felt walled out so many times, that I take a longer term, more patient perspective. Those people, having such a good time with each other, without me, does that diminish me in some way? Do I need to do something, to become part of the community? Do I really want, or need, to break in? To assert myself?

I can enjoy that other people are having a good time.

I don't have any shared history with them, so all their laughter has no foundation for me. But I can still enjoy it, knowing that they are linked to me through Universal Mind, and they are expressing wonderfully, connections with each other and their collective past. I can't add to that experience. In fact, my meddling can subtract from it!

So for me, the evening was "successful." I got to meet Tim, we shared conversation about some important issues and some non-important ones too, We discovered ways we can be useful to each other, and we got to have $2 beer. I got to listen to a dozen women laughing and carrying on and modeling how to be really great people.

Not every minute has to be about me, afterall.

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